Just One Time, Say It Like You Mean It
by rayychel infinity
Summary: Forever The Sickest Kids: Caleb/Kyle. Caleb felt like he was a damaged being, and Kyle changed his mind. Almost PWP, but it actually has a backstory.


**DISCLAIMER:** I do not own anything in this story. At all. Warnings are: Graphic sex and language.

A/N: Ohhhh my, I feel like cranking these out while I'm on vacation. Another installment on my Kyleb series. Reviews would be lovely :)

* * *

"I really don't think this is safe," Caleb says, eyeing the small shower in his and Kyle's hotel room. "It's so _tiny_." _Unsafe, dangerous, stupid_ is what else he wants to say but doesn't.

It's always Kyle who comes up with the weird ideas and locations for sex. When they first started the fling—since then it's matured and Caleb won't deny that he's terribly infatuated with the drummer and vice versa—they _had_ to find secret places.

On the AP Tour, it was always hurried handjobs in venue bathrooms, sometimes even the bus bathrooms. Most of the time they would meet up after a show, press against a cold wall with their sweaty bodies and grind, Caleb clenching onto Kyle's blonde hair, Kyle pressing his fingertips deep into the groove of Caleb's hips, moans trapped behind teeth and tongue.

Warped Tour was full of Caleb's favorite memories—they got free time all day, and when they weren't having an acoustic set, full set, or signing, they would sneak off behind buses, inside their own. Kyle would go down on Caleb, get them both off fast.

Caleb was a damaged being, like one of those half-off deals at department stores. Time and time again he'd told Kyle that, said he didn't deserve anyone. On tour he was constantly cheating on his girlfriend. Some boyfriend he was.

Imperfections don't make perfections, after all.

"But I don't love her," he'd cried.

"Then love _me_," Kyle had said, wrapping his arms around the younger boy. "Love me like I love you and you'll never be alone again."

At first Caleb couldn't do it. He couldn't touch Kyle, couldn't be within five feet of him when they weren't alone. He'd constantly shy away from the blonde, hang his head and hate himself.

All his life he'd know his predilection towards boys. He'd always liked the way their backs were curved, shoulders were broad, but he'd spent most of his life burying those feelings. He wasn't sure why because he knew that, no matter what, his family would back him.

So when he ran away, stayed out in his car and hated himself more than ever, nearly fucking froze to death, he decided _this is it. I'm done._

He went home. But instead of coming out to his parents, he began dating a pretty brunette named Danielle. They gave him the occasional side-eye, that whole _I know who you really are_ look but not once did they say anything. They loved her, and he pretended to.

When Caleb met Kyle, his whole world fell apart. He'd always had a sort of fascination with the tall, gangly drummer from The Flipside with the ever-changing hair, but he never really realized how much it _consumed_ him until talking to Kyle became a regular thing and the prospect of being in a band together was getting closer to reality.

Songs and songs began almost writing themselves, pouring from Caleb's fingertips unconsciously. Caleb threw these away, cheeks burning red when he looked over and saw the closeted lust and passion he had for Kyle hidden behind wannabe-clever lines.

He was so, _so_ fucked.

So one day Kyle said, "You love me, don't you," and it wasn't a question, wasn't anything but Caleb's life turning even further upside down.

Caleb stuttered, tried to say something to get out of it, but he knew that grin on Kyle's face. It was that wide, cocky one. Caleb was caught. He finally just sighed and shrugged, muttered a barely-audible "yes" and looked down at his shoes.

"It's okay," Kyle's voice said, right beside his ear, "'cause I think I love you too."

The kiss was sweeter than anything Caleb had ever tasted. He wanted to say so, so much but didn't know how. He held tightly onto Kyle until they both had to breathe. He said only one thing: "Thanks."

But that was then, at the beginning.

"Stop it, Cay," Kyle said one evening when Caleb turned his head to a kiss in the privacy of the bus lounge area. "Please, stop it." His voice cracked with hurt, like he was unsure _why_ this was happening.

To be honest, Caleb wasn't sure why it was happening, either.

"You don't know what it's like!" Caleb shouted, wrenching himself away from Kyle's grasp. From the bunk section of the bus Jonathan poked his head out, eyed them both quizzically but didn't say anything before disappearing back into his bunk.

Caleb ignored him, kept his gaze focused on the hurt expression on Kyle's face, shook away the tears rolling down his cheeks. "Fuck you, Kyle. You don't have to deal with this weight every day like I do. Just please, stop—"

Kyle grabbed Caleb's face, pulled him in for a kiss, and for once Caleb didn't struggle. He closed his eyes, tentatively wrapped his arms around Kyle's waist and sighed.

When they pulled away Caleb buried his face in Kyle's shoulder, held tightly to his skinny torso, and sobbed. Kyle held him there, petting his hair until Caleb's breathing returned to normal and he could pull away.

"You okay?" Kyle asked, a soft smile stretching his lips.

Caleb wiped at his eyes with the back of his hand, looked over and saw the rest of their band standing awkwardly in the doorway. Austin gave them a tentative thumps up, flashing an encouraging smile while next to him Marc rolled his eyes, no doubt happy for his step-brother.

Caleb laughed shakily and said, "It's okay now, Kyle. Thank you."

After that any touch, even if it was just a brush of fingertips as one of them reached for something, was never met without response.

The first time they actually had sex was off tour. Kyle came over to Caleb's apartment in the middle of the night, not long after Danielle and Caleb had finally called it quits. The redhead immediately let him in, and instead of comforting words Kyle had warm touches, murmurs of nothings into Caleb's ear as he backed them to the younger boy's bedroom.

That night Kyle had promised Caleb _it'll be good, so fucking good_, and he didn't lie. With the moonlight slanting in silvery, spider web-like strands onto the bed, the floor, Caleb rode Kyle's cock, and for the first time he felt genuinely _happy_, like nothing would ever go wrong ever again.

Kyle had come first, and at the feel of it inside him Caleb tossed back his head and moaned, grinding down onto Kyle's lap as he came against their stomachs. After that they were inseparable.

In present time Kyle grins, shrugs. He rests his hand on Caleb's shoulder and squeezes comfortingly. "So? You're skinny, I'm skinny…"

The hand's shrugged off. Caleb speaks in a voice tight with worry and apprehension. He doesn't deny, though, that the thought of being fucked by Kyle in the shower is so, so hot. "We're also the same height, and you're skinnier than me—"

Kyle shuts Caleb up with a kiss. "All technicalities. It'll be okay, dude. If you freak out just tell me and I'll stop. You know I love you too much to intentionally hurt you."

Caleb looks at the shower, then back at Kyle's eager face. He bites his lip, sighs in defeat. "Fine. Only because I love you, even though I don't know why."

Kyle squeals in a very un-manly fashion and wraps his arms around Caleb, smothering him in a hug. "You won't regret it, Cay. I promise."

Caleb sighs again but hugs Kyle back. "I'd better not."

* * *

The day's a hectic one—an afternoon show, meet-and-greet, and a radio interview. By the time ten o'clock rolls around the whole band is exhausted. Caleb wouldn't ever admit to Kyle—it would break the older boy's heart—but he was _not_ looking forward to what was in store for that night.

Kyle's completely touchy-feely on the elevator ride up to their room, and it's all Caleb can do not to plead exhaustion and hide under the covers until morning. Not to mention that he's pretty sure Kyle's freaking out everyone else—Jonathan's giving them this weird, knowing look and Austin's just trying not to laugh along with Kent and Marc.

Caleb Turman is _not_ afraid of shower sex. No way. He just… hates tiny places, especially showers. Add another 6'3 individual and Caleb just _might_ have a goddamn heart attack.

"Kyle," Caleb says when he's trying to unlock their door, "I cannot do this with your hands all over me."

Kyle sheepishly removes his hands from Caleb's back pockets.

Caleb can't stop the smile that tugs at the corner of his lips. "Be patient for like five more minutes." He finally gets the door unlocked and steps inside, Kyle hot on his heels.

"C'mon," Kyle whispers into his ear and _shit_, when did he get so close? He presses against Caleb's back and Caleb can feel the hard press of Kyle's cock against his ass. He doesn't stop the low moan that escapes from his mouth.

"God you're so eager," he groans, pressing backward.

"Thought about you all day," Kyle whispers lowly, hands sliding to the front of Caleb's jeans, cupping his cock through the denim. Caleb inhales sharply, cants his hips up as Kyle rubs his cock with his palm, feeling the spot where the head is pressed dampen slightly.

"I couldn't _wait_ for this," Kyle continues, dipping his head to suck at the pale skin of Caleb's neck. He undoes Caleb's belt, lets it slide to the floor as he works on his button and zipper. "I wanted you so bad." He slides Caleb's boxers down just enough to get his cock free.

"God, _Kyle_," Caleb whispers, head falling back to press against Kyle's shoulder. "Fuck that feels so good." He lets his lips slide over the smooth skin of Kyle's cheek, grunting as his hips buck up into Kyle's loose fist.

Caleb finally shoos Kyle's hand away and says, "Bathroom. Now."

Yeah, just fuck it.

They make it in there, Kyle starting the water as he shimmies his jeans off, Caleb working on his own. Quickly their shirts are shed, landing on the haphazard pile in the corner of the small bathroom. Kyle tugs Caleb into the stall and Caleb takes a deep breath, closing his eyes tightly as he enters.

Immediately the hot water pounds over him and he relaxes a bit, falling into Kyle's arms when the older boy tugs them together. Their lips slide over one another's easily, tongues darting between lips, flashes of ivory teeth biting into supple flesh. Caleb works at Kyle's cock, twisting his wrist and squeezing as he slides from base to tip.

"So good," Kyle hisses between his teeth. Caleb kisses him one last time before he slides carefully to his knees, pushing Kyle backward until he's pressed against the slippery shower wall.

Caleb shakes off the water that's beaded onto the end of his nose and laps at the head of Kyle's cock. He reaches up with his hand, cups Kyle's balls and rolls them in his palm.

Kyle bucks and jerks, one hand clenching in Caleb's wet ginger hair. "Jesus, _fuck_ Caleb."

Caleb swallows down as much as he can, using the hand that's not teasing Kyle's hole to grip the base of his cock. He uses two water-slicked fingers to work Kyle open, stretching the tight ring of muscles.

"Shit, Cay, no," Kyle gets out. "I wanna… I wanna be inside you."

Caleb stops instantly, pulling off of Kyle's cock to look up at him. He blinks the water off his eyelashes, sees Kyle looking down at him, lips red from biting at it. "Yeah, yeah. Okay," Caleb says, standing up. He'd forgotten, of course.

He turns to face the cream-colored shower wall, braces his weight with his hands and pushes his ass out just a little bit as he hears the dull thuds of Kyle's knees as they connect with the rubbery mat on the slick floor. He feels the tip of Kyle's index finger tease his crack, running down to circle around his hole.

"Jesus, just get on with it," Caleb snaps, breathing harshly. "You're such a tease sometimes, Kyle."

Behind him Kyle laughs, reaching a hand down to tug at his cock a few times before easing one water-slicked finger inside Caleb, getting it in to the knuckle, before retracting and adding another.

Caleb hisses at the burn, squeezes his eyes shut. It's not very often that Kyle tops—or even wants to top, really—and Caleb often forgets how much this part hurts. He whines low in his throat when Kyle moves his fingers, and he almost begs for a third before he remembers this is going _a lot_ farther than just fingering.

"Oh," Caleb gasps, hips jerking backwards when Kyle finds his prostate. "_Seriously_, Ky. Please, now. I can take it. I fucking need this so bad."

And he's definitely not above begging.

He feels Kyle's hands on his waist, then circling around again to wrap around his cock. "Yeah, Cay?" Kyle breathes into his ear. "You want my cock that bad?" Caleb whimpers, scrabbling at the wall as Kyle moves his hand faster.

"I want you to say it." Lower this time, more sultry.

"_God_."

"Say it."

Caleb groans in frustration. "Alright, shit, I want your cock in me so far I forget my fucking name."

"Do you want to scream, Caleb?" Kyle whispers, hands moving from Caleb's cock down to his thighs, digging his nails into the flesh. "Do you want me to pound into you so hard that you forget how to _breathe_?"

Sharp inhale. "Fuck, _yes_, Kyle. Please."

Kyle grips Caleb's chin, yanks his head around for a deep kiss, water mixing with saliva. He momentarily makes eye contact with Kyle and he's not at all surprised to see the blonde's eyes dilated and darkened. Caleb rests his head against the wall and breathes.

He feels Kyle position himself behind him, feels the blunt head of Kyle's cock nudging at his hole before he's pushing in, gentle at first, then bottoming out with a quick jerk of his hips.

Caleb gasps, groans at the feeling of being filled. He's missed it so much, _God_ he has. The burn gradually subsides, and when it does Caleb reaches behind himself, grabs at Kyle's ass in a silent message to move.

Kyle braces on arm on the wall, fingers splayed out over Caleb's, and he uses his other to grip Caleb's hips tightly as he thrusts forward. Caleb moans, feels his feet sliding slightly on the floor with the force of Kyle's thrusts. "So good. Fuck, love feeling you inside me, Kyle."

The grunt Caleb receives is more than enough for a response. "You're such a whore," Kyle murmurs as he presses flush against the swell of Caleb's ass before drawing back out. "Begging me like that." He pushes back in, tracing his fingers down the bumps of Caleb's spine. "I love fucking you."

Kyle nips at the skin covering Caleb's shoulder blades, runs his tongue along the reddened marks. He looks down, watches his cock slide in and out of Caleb's ass. "Shit," he mutters. "So, so hot."

Caleb moans, loud and drawn-out as Kyle brushes against his prostate. It takes everything in himself not to hump the wall in front of him, but he's _dying_ with no one touching his cock. "Oh, God, Kyle, please… please, touch me."

He feels Kyle shake his head, shaggy blonde hair brushing against the junction of his shoulder and neck. Kyle drives back into the younger boy, almost pushing him off-balance. "Not yet," he says.

Caleb whimpers, tosses his head back as Kyle drags his cock over his prostate again. "Shit, shit." He bites his lip and sucks in a deep breath, grinding back into Kyle's lap.

"See," Kyle says, teeth grazing the pale, freckled skin of Caleb's shoulder. "Such a whore, wanting it this bad." His hand rests on Caleb's side, too close and too far away at the same time.

The water pounds down on them, losing some of its steam as time passes on. Caleb's long forgotten his hate of small spaces in favor of _this_, and he ducks his head down, watches water drip off the ends of his red hair and bead on his cock.

This side of Kyle—strong, domineering—isn't what Caleb normally sees, and when he does he's putty in the blonde's hands. When he feels Kyle pull out of him he whines at the loss, feeling too-stretched and too empty.

"Kyle—"

"Turn around."

Caleb does as he's told, and immediately he's pressed flush against the wall again, his spine digging painfully into the hard surface, but it's quickly forgotten as Kyle kisses him, moving between his legs. Caleb wraps his legs around Kyle's waif-thin waist as quick as he can.

Kyle reaches between them to grab his cock, guiding it upwards between Caleb's cheeks. Caleb arches his back, moans as Kyle pushes in again, more force behind these thrusts. Kyle braces one arm on the wall, uses the other to tug at Caleb's cock.

The relieved gasp Caleb lets out is high and breathy and he finds himself jerking forward, unconsciously trying to find more friction with the smooth pads of Kyle's fingers and his rough, calloused palms.

"Kyle, Kyle," Caleb chants. He feels the heat build up in his spine, grow and grow until he's jerking and writhing on Kyle's cock, hand clenching on Kyle's bony shoulder. "Oh, _God_," he moans, eyes clenching shut until he hears Kyle's voice, lower in register and smoky, say, "Look at me, baby."

Caleb does, and when they lock eyes he's coming as Kyle thumbs the head of his cock and pushes upward sharply with his hips. "Oh, fuck!" Caleb screams, loud and high-pitched and probably too long for a hotel room.

He feels Kyle jerk underneath him, hears his labored breathing before he's gasping out "Jesus, love you, Caleb," and coming hard. They slump, exhausted, and it's a minute or two before Kyle pulls out and gently eases Caleb to the ground.

The water has long turned cold and Kyle quickly shuts it off, reaches outside the curtain to grab two towels. He hands one to Caleb and wraps his around his waist.

"So?" Kyle asks after they step out of the shower stall, waggling his eyebrows.

Caleb sighs, rolls his eyes but grins. "Fine, you were right. It was fucking amazing."

Kyle laughs, pulls Caleb close so they can kiss languidly. "I totally knew you'd say that."

"Of course you did," Caleb says, but he's still grinning.


End file.
